


Think of Me

by Iloquence



Category: The Two Princes (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Prince Amir mentioned, drinking mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iloquence/pseuds/Iloquence
Summary: To Rupert's horror, Amir's memories are never recovered after lifting Malkia's curse. Realizing that nothing can be done, Rupert allows Chad to choose whatever path he wants. Rupert is now the sole king of the Heartland.Chad and Rupert are brought back together, albeit through inane circumstances. It's time they face their fears and create a future in the midst of not understanding their past.
Relationships: Chad/Prince Rupert (Two Princes Podcast)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 49





	1. The Kiss

Rupert is heartbroken. The man he loved could never come back.

Chad notices his frustration. But there is nothing to be done. Amir is gone.

After talking together, Rupert tells Chad that he loves Amir. He's sorry, but he can't love Chad, not the way he used to love Amir.

Chad understands, and he goes on his own way.

Rupert realizes as Chad leaves the castle that there will be troubles he must overcome himself. Alone. The people of the East will be furious that their prince is gone, but Rupert can't let this be the reason why they can no longer have peace.

His mother and Atossa promise him that they will stay by his side and help him rule.

Sir Joan, along with Cecily and her warriors, swears that she will stay loyal to Rupert. They, too, want the best for the kingdom.

And so the months pass. Chad is on his own adventures, and Rupert's coronation is a day away.

On the day of the coronation, the queens visit Rupert who is nervous. Lavinia assures him that he will amazing as a ruler. ("Anything can be better than what we had when your father ruled!")

Atossa, when Lavinia leaves, asks Rupert if he is ready to become king.

Rupert, with a far off disposition, answers yes.

The kingdom comes along well. Joan and Cecily help with matters concerning the populace. The queens and Lord Chamberlain helps with more political matters.

And Rupert, head high, thinks he can do this. He has to. For his people. For Amir.

Then Joan has to traverse the land to arrest a thief.

(Apparently the thief had tried to steal a book that held powerful spells, some of shapeshifting, destruction, and dark magic.)

And lo and behold, Joan returns with Chad in hand.

(And Percy Jr., who tried to find the thief initially, but was failing miserably at his job.)

Chad goes into a long spiel that can be boiled down to wanting to live on the land with his hot new siren girlfriend. ("With legs and everything!")

Joan advises Rupert that Chad must face punishment, even though she knows that Rupert is hesitant to give it to him.

After deliberation, Rupert decides on community service.

Lord Chamberlain tells them that Chad must complete five hundred hours of service.

"That," Cecily says, "or being imprisoned for a whole year without your siren girlfriend or any kind of contact with the outside world."

Thus begins Chad's grievous five hundred hours of community service. He is also to be supervised at almost every hour of every day to make sure he doesn't escape his duties.

Of course, one day he does manage escape for a short stroll in the Forest.

Only to find Rupert with his pets at a waterfall.

"What are you doing?" Rupert asks, knowing exactly what Chad is doing.

Chad deflects by asking what Rupert is doing not at his castle.

"I'm a king," Rupert deadpans. "Learning everything for the first time, no less. I deserve a break once in a while."

It gets really awkward. They remember who they are to each other.

Then Chad breaks the silence and begs Rupert to let it go this one time. He's tired and hasn't been doing anything remotely fun.

Rupert would like to counter that he is definitely having fun, considering that the pub owner has told him about Chad's exorbitant tab. But he holds his tongue.

So they talk for a while, about Chad's adventures prior to his probation.

Rupert realizes he has to head back to the castle, as does Chad to his service.

Chad says that he will tell Rupert more of his stories at a later date, when he comes across him again. He likes the king's company.

Rupert decides to visit Chad regularly to make sure he's doing his work, and they both talk about Chad's adventures and Rupert's work-life imbalance.

After a while, everybody, including the probation officer, observes that Chad has been more diligent in his work the more Rupert visits him. (And tends to enjoy it more when Rupert visits him, but that's not something they're going to tell either of them.)

The next time Rupert comes across Chad is when Chad is taking care of some cows in the fields.

Chad invites the king to cross the fence and pet them. ("They're very soft and friendly!")

Rupert decides to pet the cows. He had not pet a cow since he was a child. (It was when he escaped from a fitting session for a number of hats his mother planned on gifting him. He ran all the way to the fields.) Like before, the cows crowded around him and started licking his face.

Chad tries to teach Rupert how to milk a cow. Both terrible at the job, get wet and laugh at their job well done.

They spend some time lying in the fields. Chad tells more stories about his adventures when he realizes that Rupert has fallen asleep against the tree he is sitting underneath. He notices dark circles under his eyes hiding beneath his growing hair.

(He moves to brush the hair out of Rupert's face. He falters.)

Chad lies beside him and takes a nap in the warm sunshine.

When Rupert wakes up and has to leave, Chad asks if he's going to the festival over the weekend.

"I have too much work to do," Rupert replies. "There's so much stuff that I have to finish."

"Relax a little!" Chad tells him. "You can't stay in your castle everyday, you know?"

Hesitantly, Rupert agrees. "But I would attract too much attention."

Chad grins. "I have a plan."

With the help of Cecily (and coaxing Joan to ease up a bit), Rupert disguises himself and sneaks out of the castle.

Rupert meets Chad outside the castle and they escape into the night festival.

They look around for hours, eating treats and playing games, until they hear that some knights are looking for the king.

They glance at each other, then they spot the knights on the other side of a crowd.

Chad reaches for Rupert's hand and they run. They run into the forest and towards the waterfall. They laugh and smile and run. The freedom flowing in their veins.

They finally reach the waterfall. Rupert lets go of Chad's hand which is now cold without Rupert's warmth.

They sit at the base of the waterfall and talk again. First, it's about the rush of adrenaline. How it was crazy that they are here now, away from everyone else. Then it's about the festival, which treats they liked the most and games they'd never waste their money on again. And finally about life and about trying hard to be better at being people.

Chad asks Rupert if he would ever want to leave his throne, even for a while, for a life of adventure. He adds softly if maybe Rupert would like to come along on Chad's adventures.

Rupert replies that as much as he would love to have a life of adventure, he serves his kingdom first, and that anything can be an adventure if you share your life with the right people.

Rupert decides to swim in the lake, and asks Chad to get in with him.

Chad grows flustered at the sight of Rupert's outline in the moonlight.

Rupert notices how far off he is. "Get over here!" he shouts at him.

"Okay..." Chad wades over to where Rupert is.

"Closer," Rupert says, rolling his eyes.

Chad comes right up to him, which startles Rupert. So close. Rupert notices Chad's flustered face.

Then Chad kisses him.

Then they stare at each other.

Chad realizes what he has done. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. He runs back to town.


	2. Escapism

The days go by. Rupert no longer visits Chad.

The probation officer is worried (they would never admit it.). Chad has been quieter than usual.

They realize that it may have something to do with the king not visiting anymore, so they try not to bring it up.

One night when the bartender realizes that Chad is drinking more than he should be, he asks what's wrong. He wonders if it has anything to do with the siren girl he used to talk about. (But stopped talking about roughly two weeks ago.)

Chad slowly remembers-"Oh yeah, Lorelei."

His eyes are distant and it seems he's not feeling well. Or he's remembering something that he had completely forgotten. He suddenly asks the bartender if he knows anything about Prince Amir.

Everyone in the pub hushes for a moment, then resumes their chatter, slightly awkward. They haven't heard that name in over a year.

(It was as if the king had banned any mention of the man. But he never did. People are settling into their new lives. They know how the king despairs at the name.)

The bartender replies slowly that he knows almost nothing, that he originally lived in the West. He met Prince Amir once during the three month period of peace between the two curses.

"He was a good, brave, and honorable man. He was self-righteous. The only thing he valued more than his people was King Rupert."

Chad thinks about how he doesn't even remember his own childhood. His own mother.

The first eighteen years of his life were taken away, and all he does is try to bring back any semblance of youth by causing trouble, rebelling, and denying any part of him that people tried to label him with-good, brave, honorable.

A being who largely existed in the present, not the past, until Chad had escaped from his duties as a prince and spent a year running from what the people who loved Amir had defined the prince as.

Separate from a conscious that would never know what it would be like to grow old. Chad took that away from Amir. And Amir took away his youth.

He remembers how Rupert urged him to continue on their journey to break Malkia's curse. How Rupert had clear expectations of Chad that he could not fulfill. The look on Rupert's face when Chad said something stupid or did something wrong.

It was upsetting. It was confusing. He didn't know what he was doing. He was doing what he thought was right. It wasn't like he had the eighteen years of training Rupert had always mentioned Amir having.

Chad was stupid. He still is. Rupert still makes the same face that signifies when Chad says something stupid. It hurt him. But he can't tell Rupert that. He can't hurt Rupert.

Maybe if Amir comes back, Rupert could be happy.

"Do you know anyone who would know more about him?"

"The people closest to him. King Rupert's confidants," the bartender replies, "and His Majesty himself."

Rupert's confidants, in the meanwhile, have been urging him to take a break. Maybe take a trip for a few days. Rupert has been furiously busying himself with work to the point of getting sick with fever.

Rupert refuses adamantly. Busying himself, busying his mind would make the thoughts go away. To stop thinking about Amir and to stop thinking about Chad.

Rupert thought he had changed, had learned to let Chad be who he wanted to be.

But he couldn't stop comparing them. Especially not after the kiss. Not after Chad almost looked like he wanted to say he loved him. As if he never did before.

He didn't love him before. This was Chad, not Amir.

But it was the same face and a similar tenderness. All formed from different circumstances. As if those three days in the forest and the three months afterwards never existed. Like they were a lucid dream.

If he acts like the king he is, he won't have to think about it. Just work. Work and work. Worry about his people and not about the one single man who used to hold Rupert's heart when he offered it to him, when Rupert's heart was open and fragile and ready to break.

The man who saw Rupert for who he was and the man who sees Rupert for who he is now. They are different. And to fall in love with Chad felt so wrong. Betraying Amir, who would never know love from him again.

The kiss at the waterfall. It was different from the kiss he shared with Amir at the Hollow.

Amir was soft and tender, full of mutual love, but desperate and relieved.

And Chad was passionate with feeling, but lazy in execution... (Quite similar to Amir's. But it was hard to admit.) But it was wholly one sided.

When Chad kissed him, Rupert almost gave in. Thought Amir had come back, and Rupert was about to slide his fingers into Amir's hair and pull him in closer. Feel their body heat mingle, and kiss him deeper until he fully convinced himself that yes, this is Amir. He is back, and he loves me.


	3. The Sun Starts to Set

The next time they meet, it's because the probation officer is growing increasingly worried about Chad. (But he refused to admit it, instead opting to say that Chad is slacking off in his duties, drinking until early in the morning, and talking to the cows about his feelings.)

Rupert had tried to ask Joan or the queens to go. But they all saw it in his eyes: the urge to deny reality. The fear and the distraction. They all said no, despite his begging. He would have to go himself.

He needs to talk to Chad because he cares for him.

From a distance, Rupert clings to the probation officer's side as they Chad milk the cows more carefully than he did the day they napped in the fields.

("Are you sure he's been slacking off? He looks just fine." "Just wait, Your Majesty.")

Chad sits on the ground, then immediately flops down into the grass. A loud thump resonated in the air. He throws an arm over his face.

Rupert slowly approaches Chad who scrambles up when he notices the king. Chad sees the probation officer, right behind Rupert.

"Your Majesty," Chad calls him, as he does when other authority figures are around.

"Go and talk to him," the probation officer whispers in Rupert's ear.

Rupert sighs, tells Chad to follow him, and they head into the forest and towards the waterfall.

The sun starts to set when they arrive.

They sit there, at the base of the waterfall, the space between them more distant than it used to be, but closer than it had been for the last two weeks.

And slowly, the words come out. How are you's turned to what have you been up to's, and from there it turned into I'm sorry's. I'm sorry for kissing you. I'm sorry for not talking to you sooner. I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was. I'm sorry I'm not enough. I'm sorry for never making it clear. I'm sorry for not telling you how I felt. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about this sooner. I'm sorry.

"It's just-" Rupert sighs, and it carries the weight of tears he can't shed- "I would have to choose. I can't convince myself that you're really him. And I can't tell myself that I only love you when it's no true."

Chad looks at him, and he feels it again. The strange sense of familiarity. That this is something he saw before-Rupert's vulnerability. He felt this before, the foreboding of heavy emotions in Rupert's presence.

Amir. He couldn't forget absolutely everything. Some emotions and some behaviors were simply so strong they could not be completely washed away.

Chad has always wondered if it was just Amir. Just Amir aching for Rupert's love. That it isn't his own feelings. This isn't the first time.

(Like when he searched for that stupid spell book. Like when he looked at Lorelei's pretty face and when he kissed her, rebelling against every feeling that he shouldn't be there. Shouldn't be kissing her. Should be kissing someone else. Chad always thought it was just Amir's thoughts in the back of his head.)

When did it change? When did it also become Chad's love for Rupert? When did one aching love become the passion of two, burning through stubborn fears, and hoping Rupert would love? Love him again? Love him back?

"Whatever I feel," Chad responds, "Amir does too. And anything he feels, I do too. We're the same in that way."

He feels sick for trying to convince Rupert to love him. Or is it Amir who is trying to get Rupert to love him?

Stupid Amir. Chad wonders if Rupert could have loved him if he was never Amir. Does Rupert only care because of who Chad used to be?

He wants it-Rupert's love. Even if it is wrong, fake, sick, and temporary. Chad hates it. He has tried shutting it away, forcing Amir out of his mind, not even in his subconscious.

Sometimes he thinks it is just Amir, and how this Amir guy is disgusting for forcing Rupert to love Chad. Just for a semblance of love, without regard for it being fake or for Rupert's feelings.

Or maybe it's Chad being disgusting. Wanting Rupert and using Amir as an excuse to get Rupert to love him.

"I'm sorry," Chad says. "I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have kissed you."

Chad gets up to leave.

"Listen," Rupert calls, "I don't... want to push you away from me. To leave you alone."

"Then can we be friends?" Chad asks after a while.

Rupert nods.

Chad looks at Rupert, small and brokenhearted, sitting on the rocks, the moonlight glistening on the water droplets sticking to the strands of his hair.

"Before... everything. Before I ran off and before we broke Malkia's curse, I always thought that no one understood me. That no one really saw me." Chad looks away from Rupert's face as he feels the lump in his throat become tighter. "I'm not Amir. But everything that I've ever told you about myself is real to me." He pauses. "You see me, Rupert."

He doesn't notice Rupert's face, shock and sadness settling in his eyes. Chad walks away.

Chad knows. He knows that Rupert would like him better if he were Prince Amir.


	4. And So the Days Go By

The probation officer congratulates chad on finishing half of his service hours.

Chad asks to hold a celebratory party.

The probation officer says no, shoves a bucket in his hands, and leaves.

Sometimes Rupert visits, not very often, but often enough for Chad to know that he is making an effort to become friends.

They talk normally, if normally meant as if nothing had happened, as if all the tension between them was imagined.

Chad cracks jokes. Too many for Rupert to comprehend. (Probably because Amir didn't joke around too much. Chad thinks that's a shame on Amir's character. ((Rupert's face when he laughs is immaculate, and it's even better when it's in response to one of Chad's jokes.)) Chad wonders if there is a face Amir had seen on Rupert before that Chad will never be able to witness.)

Chad also likes to pull off strange physical feats like juggling or balancing acts. This impresses Rupert, but Chad feels that it isn't because he is impressed by his physical prowess, and it was shock over how odd it is to see your ex-fiance try to balance a bucket of milk on his head while juggling three eggs. Rupert gets a kick out of it, though, and sometimes brings Cecily to watch.

Cecily is... bubbly. She bounces wherever she walks and always speaks in a single breath. She gossips and laughs vivaciously. Cecily is a beam of sunshine, screaming, "This is life! Deal with it!"

She's best friends with Rupert. And she is the only other person that allows Chad to call Rupert by his name, unlike everyone else, who insists that Chad call him Your Majesty and King Rupert like they do. So Chad doesn't mind her all that much.

(But it seems that she does mind him, considering the way she watches him when she passes by.)

Rupert used to visit every week, even if was to only say a short hello. Then he visited at least twice a week. Now he visits almost every day when Chad works. Never on weekends, though, which was a shame because that's when Chad is the cleanest and therefore probably more handsome than on the weekdays.

He shakes his head. He needs to stop thinking about that. Romance with Rupert.

Part of the reason why Rupert never visits on the weekends is because Queen Lavinia has been hosting several balls in an attempt to cheer him up and relieve stress, according to Rupert. But word around the town is that many of the guests invited to the balls are noblemen of the extremely rich and handsome variety. A husband, the townspeople whisper. King Rupert is looking for a husband.

Once, when Chad was out for the weekend, he saw Rupert donned in his cloak hand-in-hand with another man in similar fashion, running off into the forest.

Since then, Rupert seemed happier. Laughs at more of Chad's jokes and smiles more often. Glowing. Kind and determined. Beautiful and ever immaculate Rupert. Different from Chad who tried to steal a stupid book for stupid reasons and is now stuck doing two hundred more hours of community service on a farm. Listless and dirt-faced Chad.

Yes, Rupert deserves a rich and handsome husband.

Rupert is now talking about how his mother forced him to wear another suit with frills.

"Queen Atossa has started to be more involved with what I wear, and she is pushing for my suits to be a bit more practical!"

Chad wants to bring up the man he saw Rupert with that night.

"And you know, ever since then my suits have been a lot more toned down!"

Rupert's hair has been getting longer.

"I think I'm going to finally like my suit for the next ball."

He has started to wear it in a low, short ponytail.

"Oh, and guess what?" "What?" "I've been getting a lot better at sword fighting!"

The wind rustles Rupert's tunic. His body has been becoming more toned.

"What about you?"

Chad stops his train of thought. Remembers that he's sitting cross-legged on the ground with a bucket of milk on his head.

"I've been fine."

And so the days go by. Rupert visits. They chat and laugh. Chad thinks about Rupert and how he wants to kiss him.

(Rupert thinks about ways he can stop thinking about Chad without forgetting about him.)

The next morning, Chad is lugging a bucket of milk from the barn when he stops at the door.

"Good morning, Your Majesty." He bows, a full ninety degrees. The milk sloshes around violently.

Queen Atossa smiles. "Good morning."

Chad holds his breath and sets the bucket on the ground. He figures a balancing act would not impress the queen, and so he continues with his work.

"How are you today?" He asks politely.

"I'm good," she answers. "How are you?"

"Great." Chad heads over to fill the animals' trough with feed.

She watches him. They are silent.

"Come here," she finally says.

Chad hesitantly walks over to the fence. He only started working about ten minutes ago, but he is already sweating and smelling like the farm animals. Hardly suitable for approaching the queen.

Her eyes are gentle. She stares into his eyes which want to look away, but to do so is rude, and if the probation officer hears that he disrespected one of the queens, Chad would be dead.

She lifts her hand to cup his cheek, but she stops, her hand a centimeter away from his face. She drops her hand and composes herself.

She looks tired with her dark eye bags, but she is concentrated. Her eyes are not far off. They study his face.

"King Rupert has been visiting you often."

"Yes. He's very kind to me."

She nods and hums in appreciation.

"He told me on his coronation," she begins, "that you were the best and bravest prince he ever knew."

Then she brings both her hands up to his face, takes it in her hands, and presses a soft kiss to his forehead.

She leaves. For the first time, Chad is thinking about someone other than Rupert.


	5. We Will Carry Their Memories and Stories in Our Hearts

She was staring. "What?" Rupert asks pointedly.

Cecily hums to herself. "Oh, nothing. Maybe I'm just a bit confused about things like you visiting Chad almost every day. Almost seems like you're totally in love with him."

Rupert chokes on his water. He coughs. The tips of his ears turn pink.

"I'm not in love with him!"

"Then _why_ are flirting with him? Hitting him up? Chatting him up? Whenever I looked at you you were fluttering your eyelashes and giggling at, like, all of his stupid jokes. Like, they're not even that funny. Okay, maybe when he does that stupid thing with the bucket of milk it's a _little_ funny. But, honestly, it's not so funny that you should be laughing your head off!"

Rupert groans and slouches in his chair. "I'm not flirting."

Cecily frowns. "I thought you were still confused about Amir," she wondered.

Speechless, Rupert looks away from her. She was right. He is confused.

It isn't as if everyday Rupert looks forward to meeting up with Chad. When Chad spots Rupert from afar, Chad enthusiastically waves hello and then starts doing something silly with whatever he is closest to. Rolling an empty bucket over his shoulders, balancing on the fence, hanging from a tree branch.

It's silly. So silly that it makes Rupert laugh because he's never met any boy in his life that does those things to make him laugh. And Chad's smile is equally as silly, so naive, and free.

There are times when Rupert notices that Chad does something remotely Amir-like, such as use a broom to catch a bucket by the handle, like he is thrusting a sword. Sometimes it's the way he scrunches his brows together when he's frustrated, or simply how he sits.

Once, Chad tried to imitate an egotistical nobleman who was invited to one of Rupert's balls. It was the same voice Amir used when Rupert first met him. That stubborn, bossy voice that reeked of artificiality. It stunned Rupert, so much so it must have shown, because Chad never imitated anyone again. Though Rupert thought afterwards that it was hilarious. Because he hadn't heard that voice in almost two years, and hearing Chad, shameless in all his glory, use Amir's Prince Voice was funny and strange.

Sometimes, it's how he looks at Rupert. Like there really isn't anything that could matter more. Just the two of them, napping and playing, in the fields, just as it had been when Rupert and Amir first found the waterfall. It couldn't be any better than this, because one day it will all disappear. Chad will no longer have any service hours to complete. Rupert will have more work to do as king.

Then Rupert starts to ramble to Cecily, in a slow, confused way about everything. About how things have maybe changed. How feelings have come and gone.

If love grows, then it can also wilt.

"Chad," he says slowly, with control, "deserves my love just as Amir did."

"So you've got everything figured out?" Cecily says.

He sighs. Maybe. But it isn't that easy. Rupert has been meeting nobleman after nobleman, hoping that one will be The One. But as much as each nobleman could try, none of them were enough. Yet, it is easy to settle for someone who doesn't create more difficult decisions for Rupert. It is easy to let a nobleman, so curious and risque, kiss him once or twice. But he never let them. Not even that one nobleman Rupert brought to the waterfall.

And even then, it's not like he could forget Amir. Chad, after all, has his appearance. God. It hurt. He loves Chad, but Amir was the first to see him. He misses him, micromanagement and all.

Rupert smiles. Definitely not like Chad.

It's the last week of Chad's community service.

Rupert visits Chad in the fields again. Probably for the last time, Chad thinks. The cows greet Rupert and he pets them amiably.

Chad notices him from the branch of the tree and Chad waves. Rupert waves back.

"Climb up!" Chad says, extending a hand down to Rupert.

Rupert takes it feebly, then is suddenly pulled up beside Chad with enough force he almost falls over. Chad catches him by the waist.

They stare, flustered, then let go of each other.

"The last week," Rupert says, smiling bashfully.

"Last week." Chad's fingers are so close to Rupert's. He curls his fingers into his palms.

The sky is pink, and the fields are glowing in its grace. Porridge and Fitzroy are running around in the grass, weaving between the grazing cows.

They are silent. Both are wondering what to say.

Chad speaks up first. "When this is all over, I wouldn't mind if you want to meet up with me again. I've been thinking about living in the Heartland, you know. It's not so bad here."

Rupert laughs. "No more adventures?"

_Anything can be an adventure if you share your life with the right people_.

Chad looks at Rupert, his face golden and soft.

Just one more, Chad thinks. One last adventure.

The next day, Chad asks Rupert to come take a walk with him in the forest.


	6. In This Moment

The probation officer claps Chad on the back and congratulates him for finishing his community service hours.

Chad asks if they can have a congratulatory drink at the pub together. Get to know each other more. He and the probation officer have been getting along.

The probation officer laughs, says no, and leaves.

Chad is now free to do whatever he wants. He first goes to grab some food, then he walks through the town square, then he sits at the fountain in the center. He sighs.

He looks up at the castle towering higher than all the buildings in the Heartland. Somewhere inside, Rupert is working, or playing with Fitzroy and Porridge, or practicing his sword fighting.

Then Chad remembers. It’s Friday. He must be getting ready for the ball tomorrow.

As Chad heads home for the night, he realizes.

Rupert. No longer immaculate. No longer a symbol of his memories' captivity. (Rupert was never a symbol, and never immaculate.) With fears and pain like Chad. Therefore deserving of all his love.

This is not a relationship where only one is loving, or only one is loved. It is full of attempts and promises and secrets.

Rupert can see him. Chad can see him too.

An empty bed, two empty chairs, an empty cauldron over an unlit fire.

Children answering back to their parents’ calls. The sound of laughter from the other side of the walls. The whispers of lovers in the streets. The coos of the birds. The pitter patter of townspeople's feet.

Would it be louder in a castle, where it must be bustling with movement at almost every moment? Or would it be quieter because of all the space that isn’t being filled?

Chad goes to sleep wondering how many empty chairs Rupert has, and if Rupert’s bed has room for two.

The next day, he is roused by the sound of hooves clicking against the paths. He peers outside. Nobles, from the looks of the embellished carriages.

So early, considering that the ball should be starting later at night.

Chad wonders what it's like to be at a fancy ball. It doesn’t seem like he would enjoy it all that much. But he liked the idea of being the center of all the attention, the crowds parting at his appearance.

The way Rupert talked about them seemed as if they got boring quickly. There’s only so many times you want to put on a frilled suit and dance with almost half of the guests just to get a glimpse of their personality.

Then a sudden idea springs into his head.

The carriage rolls to a stop at the castle entrance.

Rupert rushes to the great hall, skipping down steps across the stairs when he trips and stumbles.

A pair of strong arms catches him. He looks up.

He gasps. It’s the nobleman. Rupert composes himself and smiles. The nobleman bows and greets him.

The nobleman that he brought to the forest. He arrived early. Rupert is flattered by this. The nobleman bashfully smiles back at him.

The nobleman is kind. He has spoken about his knowledge in history and strategy, as well as a recent interest in diplomacy. At first, Rupert thought he was only trying to get Rupert’s attention, but it seems that the nobleman truly loves what he is learning. That night when they walked through the forest, the nobleman promised he would come back again to meet him.

Now he is here-his promise fulfilled. They speak to each other softly until night falls, and the ball commences.

At the beginning of the ball, the Lord Chamberlain announces each guest one by one, as Rupert sits on his throne with the queens on each side of him. When the Lord Chamberlain announces the nobleman from earlier, he glances knowingly at Rupert and they exchange smiles.

Rupert could hear his mother make a teasing comment on the obvious interaction between them, but Atossa shushes her.

The dances begin, and Rupert rushes to the nobleman who is standing close to one of the doors, against a pillar. The nobleman asks for a dance, and Rupert takes his hand.

As they dance, Rupert thinks about how this might be it. This might be The One.

The nobleman suddenly asks him about Amir. Rupert sputters, wondering why he would ask.

“I heard that you have been talking with him, the former Prince Amir,” the nobleman says about Chad. “Would you rather be dancing with him instead of me?”

Rupert slows down and steps away from the nobleman. They leave the floor and Rupert leads him to the garden.

They sit at one of the benches. The nobleman places a hand on one of Rupert’s shoulders and comforts him.

Of course Rupert would rather be with Chad. But he couldn’t just tell his mother to cancel the ball when she had already invited all the guests. And everyone always comes to look for him. He is, after all, the king, and almost every nobleman wants to marry him.

In actuality, Rupert planned on inviting Chad to the ball. But he was nervous, and never built up the courage to ask.

What is it about Chad that makes him different? Maybe it’s time.

“You’re distracted.”

From what? Distracted from what?

What is he supposed to be thinking about?

The nobleman brushes Rupert’s hair out of his face. A small smile graces the nobleman’s lips. Rupert looks up at him.

Not Chad. Not silly, boisterous Chad who doesn’t care for formalities around Rupert. Not Chad who sings songs to the chickens and asks Rupert to join him.

Chad, deserving. Deserving of love. Of Rupert's gentility and breath. Chad, to be called. Called by name and answered by song.

Are Chad and Amir one and the same? Maybe. But that seems to hardly justify the expiration of effort to love him. Chad is present, and he is whole. Wholly deserving. Wholly wanting. If Rupert loves him, then so it must be.

The nobleman looks back inside the castle. “People are going to look for you,” he says. “Take all the time you need.”

The nobleman kisses Rupert’s hand. Half of the bench is empty, and Rupert has been left in the dark.

Rupert sits still and is quiet, and he hangs his head in exhaustion and in disappointment.

There is a rustling on the other side of the tall garden wall. He looks around.

“Rupert!” says a voice, and Rupert turns to it.

He gasps. Rupert rushes towards Chad who is clambering up the wall.

“What are you doing here?”

“Rupert,” he asks, “will you come with me to the waterfall?”

Rupert wonders what would ever make Chad think of coming here, especially when he knows that tonight’s the ball. But Rupert looks into his eyes, and he knows why he’s here. Rupert takes his hand, and Chad pulls him up. This time it is slow and controlled, and Rupert does not fall over.

They look at each other once Rupert is on the ground. Rupert takes Chad’s hand, and they walk into the forest.

They are silent for the whole way. Chad is leading Rupert, their hands still tightly bound.

The stars are shining down upon them, and the trees are swaying in their presence. The sounds of chatter turn into the cricket songs, the leaves crunching underneath their feet and the hoot of owls perched on branches. They hold each other. Their grip never loosens. They hold each other because they know how it feels to let go. Their hands get cold and they wonder if they’ll ever feel the other’s heat again. Because it’s easy to get lost without the other.

Once again, they sit at the base of the waterfall.

And they sit, and they hold each other, and they say nothing.

No sorry’s, at least not for tonight.

There is fear, of course. Who doesn’t accept love without accepting fear? Fear of rejection and fear of loss. Fear of anything that could come between them and fear of whatever may fill them with regret.

There is also confidence. Confidence in each other and confidence in themselves. That even if there is fear, there is trust and loyalty. Confidence that they can overcome anything they face together.

For tonight, they would break their own rules. They bask in each other's heat. They hold each other's hearts. They unearth their own desires and present it to the other, knowing that the other will care for it and take it in their own hands. Tonight they thrive.

Chad asks Rupert if he can kiss him.

Rupert holds his breath, then nods.

And Chad kisses him. And it is a kiss so vibrantly new. Passionate and wild, somewhat selfish. A kiss that says listen to me, touch me, see me. In this moment, only think of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huuuuge thank you to everyone on Tumblr who supported this fic. I see you, and any comments validate me. You can scream on my Tumblr @porridge-adragon


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